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Skyrocketing Shamelessness: A Parody on Pakistan’s State of Affairs

News Desk by News Desk
December 8, 2024
Skyrocketing Shamelessness: A Parody on Pakistan’s State of Affairs
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By : Dr. Gholam Mujtaba, MS, MD, Ed.D.
USA : Ladies and gentlemen, gather around and witness the most incredible magic show on Earth: the Pakistan Stock Exchange! Yes, you heard it right. This miraculous wonder is not just rising; it’s skyrocketing. It’s leaving even the mighty Wall Street in the dust. But wait, there’s a twist! Back in 2017, the capital value of our beloved stock exchange stood proudly at $88 billion. Fast forward to 2024, it’s a mere $38 billion. Bravo! This must be the only place on Earth where financial gymnastics can make a nosedive look like a rocket launch.
Taxes? They’re climbing Mount Everest. Power tariffs? Oh, they’re doing the Tour de France.
Industries? They’ve decided to retire early, courtesy of power shortages, skyrocketing fuel prices, and an overall “why bother” attitude. And let’s not forget the grand oil and gas crisis that’s left everyone wondering: are we running on fumes or hope?
Foreign exchange reserves? They’ve done the ultimate disappearing act, plummeting to a mind-boggling minus $139 billion. But fear not, dear citizens! The establishment assures us that the economy is improving. How? Borrowing more loans to pay off old ones creates a compound interest cycle that would make a Ponzi scheme blush—a masterclass in financial wizardry.
Medicine prices, commodities, housing, interest rates—all climbing so high they’re rubbing shoulders with the stars. LCs for imports? A distant dream. Major pharmaceutical giants and international banks have packed their bags and said, “Adios, Pakistan!” Even Eli Lilly and Johnson & Johnson couldn’t handle the heat. Diners Club, Chase Manhattan, and the rest of the financial elite? Gone like a puff of smoke. It’s almost as if Pakistan is playing a game of “How to Lose Investors in 10 Days.”
Meanwhile, education has turned into a parody of itself. Karachi University and Sindh University might as well be on different planets, with varied standards that even a compass couldn’t navigate the disparity. Roads? They’re a tragic love story of potholes and neglect.
Highways? The wild west has nothing on them. And let’s not forget the lawless lands of Baluchistan and KPK, where the rule of law is as mythical as unicorns.
The youth, Pakistan’s supposed future, are fleeing in droves—over a million in just the last year. Whether braving the icy mountains of Iran or the treacherous waters of Greece, they’re risking everything for a shot at a better life. Back home, merit is just a fancy word in the dictionary.
Civil service? Competitive positions? If you’re not ready to pay a bribe, don’t bother applying.
And the cherry on top? Rigged elections. Yes, the likes of Tessori and Naqvi have emerged as political heavyweights—despite being unable to win elections in their neighborhoods. Governors and ministers without political profiles or public support call the shots. Pakistan’s version of “America’s Got Talent.”
As if things couldn’t get more disgraceful, Pakistanis are now reportedly begging on the streets of Mecca and Medina, prompting Saudi Arabia and the UAE to impose stricter visa rules. It starkly contrasts the good old days of the 1970s when Pakistanis could travel visa-free to London, and the dollar was worth a mere five rupees. Today? It’s a staggering 280 rupees to the dollar. Progress, indeed!
Yet, amidst all this chaos, there’s no shame. No remorse. The sycophants of the current regime continue to cheer on this disaster, clapping as the nation crumbles. Overseas Pakistanis watch in horror, wondering how the people back home can remain so shameless. Perhaps it’s time for a new anthem: “Hum Sharminda Bhi Nahi” (We’re Not Even Ashamed).
So, dear Pakistanis, here’s the question: When will the magic show end? Or are we doomed to keep applauding as the curtain falls on a nation that once had so much promise? The choice is yours.
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